Through A Child’s Eyes
What My 5-Year-Old Taught Me About Resilience (From a Radiation Room)
There are moments in parenting when you realize your child is teaching you more than you're teaching them.
For me, one of those moments happened in a radiation treatment room in 2005, with my five-year-old daughter Abigail sitting quietly in the corner, doing homework while I received treatment.
Every day for weeks, Abigail came with me. Looking back, I'm not even sure they would allow children in treatment rooms today—but at the time, it was what we needed to make our family logistics work. Michael was at the fire station, Benjamin was in school, and life couldn't stop for cancer.
I remember being terrified that I was traumatizing her. Here she was, spending her after-school hours watching her mom get zapped by mysterious machines, surrounded by beeping equipment and the clinical efficiency of medical professionals doing their best to save lives.
But when I asked her years later what she remembered about that time, her answer floored me:
"I remember feeling proud that you trusted me to be there with you. And I remember thinking how many people were working so hard to help you get better."
While I was worried about what the experience was taking from her childhood, she was learning that families face hard things together–That healing happens in community–That even scary places can be filled with people who care.
One of the chapters in Revealing Grace that I'm most proud of explores the experience from my children's perspective. Here is what I learned:
Resilience isn't about protecting our kids from every difficulty. It's about showing them that we can face difficulties with grace, with support, and with the faith that tomorrow can be different than today.
Abigail learned something in that radiation room that no classroom could have taught her. She learned that being present for someone you love—even when you can't fix their problem—is one of the most powerful gifts you can offer.
She learned that healing is both intensely personal and beautifully communal.
As I prepare to relaunch Revealing Grace this October, I'm thinking about all the children who are watching the adults in their lives navigate unexpected challenges. Medical crises, job losses, relationship changes, mental health struggles—all the interruptions that force us to do regular life PLUS handle something we never planned for.
What are we teaching them about resilience? About community? About the difference between tragedy and adventure?
Abigail is grown now, with her own adventures to navigate.
But I hope she carries with her the knowledge that she can face hard things with grace, that she doesn't have to face them alone, and that sometimes our presence is the most healing gift we can offer.
These are the lessons worth passing on.
With love and gratitude for the teachers among us,
Amy
P.S. - Revealing Grace includes several chapters written from my children's perspectives during our cancer journey. Their insights often surprised me with their wisdom and hope.
