Doris Day Effect - One Breath at a Time

Dear Friends,

Before we get to what I mean by the Doris Day Effect, I want to tell you about a Reiki client I had who is working through the feelings that come with loss. The simple truth is that she lost her husband to cancer and is missing him. There is more to her story, of course, but this is the heart of her melancholy. She misses his company, his conversation, his companionship and, of course, his heart.

She asked me, "What do you suggest?"

We sat still for a moment and just listened to the music playing in the treatment room. This is when I told her about Doris Day.

Now, when I refer to Doris Day, I'm not referring to the glamorous version—I'm referring to the real one.

When she was 47 years old, her life quietly collapsed. Her husband had passed away suddenly, and at the same time she discovered he had completely mismanaged her finances, even signing her into a five-year contract she never saw or approved. She hadn't just lost her partner—she'd lost control over her life.

I could tell my client was really listening.

Doris Day could have retreated. She could have hidden. But instead, she said something simple:

The hardest thing to do is the thing you must do—which is simply show up every day.

And so she did. One day at a time. One breath at a time.

My client is a woman walking through grief as a caregiver—not a survivor of illness, but a survivor of love. Sometimes, healing doesn't mean conquering something. Sometimes it simply means staying here, in this moment, when everything in you wants to disappear.

There is medicine in this: Showing up is its own kind of prayer. Showing up is its own kind of strength.

Sometimes that is all we can do. Sometimes that is all we need to do.

A Small Practice

• Wake up.

• Put your feet on the floor.

• Feel your toes on the floor.

• Crinkle your toes, like you're trying to pick something up.

• Take a breath before the next thing.

• Whisper — "Today, I'm showing up."

That's enough. Truly.

For You (If You're in a Tender Place)

If you're walking with grief… if you're caring for someone… if life is shifting in ways you didn't ask for…

Doris Day was trapped by a five-year contract she never agreed to. But you don't need a five-year plan. Right now, you only need a five-minute plan.

Presence today is enough to seed tomorrow.

If you'd like support, I'm here — in Reiki sessions, in writing, in shared cups of tea. You don't have to go through this alone.

A moment from the Reiki room:

If you feel called to Reiki, to talk, or simply to show up with someone beside you—I would be honored to meet you there.

Namaste, Amy